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Less than 6 months
6 months to 1 year
1 to 3 years
3 to 5 years
Over 5 Years
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Felt like I was treated callously. My ex was from the community so Rabbi knew him well and despite the Rabbi acknowledging that I was well within my rights to end the marriage, he made callous comments that undermined the trauma I had experienced (ie “oh well. Better luck next time”)
Wish I knew what to expect during the actual gett “ceremony”, been told about the option of not being there in person, and at the very least been suggested to bring someone along
I highly recommend Rabbi Jachter and the Elizabeth Beit Din if you find yourself in need of a Get.
Rabbi J holds onto my Get certificate until I have a civil divorce. I am going on almost a year and my ex husband did not sign the civil divorce mediation agreement. The wait for a court date in NJ for family court is now over 11 months. So my ex is basically holding my get certificate hostage by not giving me a civil divorce. 2) Rabbi J encouraged me not to bring a support person bc then he would have to offer it to my ex husband as well. But I sat in that room as the ONLY woman with 4 other men. This is a situation that socially we never allow to happen. And during a highly emotional time Rabbi J should consider having a female there as well. Even if they are just outside. There was no reason I should have had to sit in the room while they wrote the Get as the only woman. He tried to keep the mood “light” with banter. My ex husband is a politician and the conversation focused on township politics and Shuls. It was even more disturbing to me because the reason I asked for a divorce was because of his repeated unfaithfulness. It felt like he was being treated with all this respect without acknowledging the horrific pain he had caused.
Rabbi J did try to make the process comfortable as it could be
Very fast appointment. Supportive of both parties
When I was about to get remarried it was discovered that one of the eidim did not sign the get. The av beit din felt the rabbi who was marrying me a few days later should take his word that the get was kosher. This created unnecessary stress. It undermined my confidence in the rabbi.
This beit din is committed to making the process of receiving a divorce transparent by spelling out the steps of the process as well as the steps of the actual ritual of the Get to clients.
This beit din recognizes the sensitive nature of the process and things on hand like tissues, and water to drink. The beit din offered breaks during emotional moments, and was sensitive to details such as asking a woman what last name she prefers they use.
This beit din keeps and shares its number of cases, average length it takes to resolve a case, how many seruvim it orders and more.
Do not invite them to smachot, shabbat meals, or events
This beit din offers a supportive person of the same gender to accompany parties through the divorce process (Din Torah, Get giving ritual)
This beit din reaches out after the divorce process is completed to check in on clients’ wellbeing.
This beit din has received training on domestic violence, how it might present in the beit din, and how to best work with survivors
This beit din has attended training on the challenges our community faces regarding addiction in all of its forms and how it might present itself at the Beit Din.
This beit din has taken time to attend training on the struggles women face as they stand before a beit din. The Dayanim are committed to learning the unique challenges that religious women face in this very male space. We can connect you with a training provider in your area.
This beit din has taken a course in understanding various ways Jewish marriage can be ended beyond the giving of the Get when the need is great.
This beit din has received Get refusal training and recognizes that demanding a price or conditions in exchange for a Get is abuse and does not allow this to occur in its court. This includes insisting custody and finances are sorted before giving the Get.
This beit din works with organizations that advocate for people navigating the divorce process. The beit din communicates freely and regularly with these organizations as well as partners with them to solve cases.
This beit din thinks creatively and strategically, is proactive in resolving cases and looks for solutions and ideas to free women and men being refused a Get.
Quick. Respectful