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3 / 5
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Rabbi Rosenfeld worked for hours for me without pay mediating my divorce to keep us from having to have a hearing beis din (as my ex’s ODD would have made that process hell)
The hesitancy to encourage pressure to my ex and his family, the lack of understanding how painful waiting for a get is
I got my gett. But in the end, it was because my ex was facing jail time and I was in a position to influence which charges were filed.
DO NOT choose binding arbitration under any circumstances!!
If a woman is having trouble receiving her get, she should get help from one of the organizations that help with this. At the very least, she will get some support. Beit Din in the U.S. is pretty powerless, get used to it. You are going to need to be very proactive and perhaps vicious, in order to get what you want. I have been waiting for my gett for 5 years and now I am working with an organization in Israel. They have gotten me further along than I had been, plus they offer emotional support
My husband is friendly with all the members of the Beit Din. They were unwilling to go against him in any way.
I didn’t know bringing or having representation was an option.
Rabbi B was kind, calm and respectful. He outlined the process in a straightforward way (on the phone beforehand) and there were no suprises.
I didn’t feel like there was any support or representation for me
I wish I had known what the Baltimore Bais Din was like because I would have come in with stronger representation instead of just "trusting the rabbis" I wish I knew that I had rights in the divorce process so I could have advocated for myself during it. I wish I had a stronger legal background and a lawyer with understanding of the gett laws going into it, so I could recognize when Bais Din tried to coerce, misinform, pressure me more quickly, I wish I understood how apathetic the rabbinate and Jewish communities in general are towards women in these situations, so I would have been able to adjust my expectations and find solutions more quickly,
Abuse, aiding and abetting the abuser who was clearly recognized by all parties as the abuser, inappropriate advice, victim-blaming, rampant misogyny, I could go on....
Unprofessional in every sense of the word. They do not have an organized infrastructure, guide or known set of rules and expectations for the process. They make it up as they go along. They interpret every situation as they see fit. They are VERY much a male run and male supporting organization.
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Court has been rated and voted to get the badge
This beit din is committed to making the process of receiving a divorce transparent by spelling out the steps of the process as well as the steps of the actual ritual of the Get to clients.
This beit din recognizes the sensitive nature of the process and things on hand like tissues, and water to drink. The beit din offered breaks during emotional moments, and was sensitive to details such as asking a woman what last name she prefers they use.
This beit din keeps and shares its number of cases, average length it takes to resolve a case, how many seruvim it orders and more.
Do not invite them to smachot, shabbat meals, or events
This beit din offers a supportive person of the same gender to accompany parties through the divorce process (Din Torah, Get giving ritual)
This beit din reaches out after the divorce process is completed to check in on clients’ wellbeing.
This beit din has received training on domestic violence, how it might present in the beit din, and how to best work with survivors
This beit din has attended training on the challenges our community faces regarding addiction in all of its forms and how it might present itself at the Beit Din.
This beit din has taken time to attend training on the struggles women face as they stand before a beit din. The Dayanim are committed to learning the unique challenges that religious women face in this very male space. We can connect you with a training provider in your area.
This beit din has taken a course in understanding various ways Jewish marriage can be ended beyond the giving of the Get when the need is great.
This beit din has received Get refusal training and recognizes that demanding a price or conditions in exchange for a Get is abuse and does not allow this to occur in its court. This includes insisting custody and finances are sorted before giving the Get.
This beit din works with organizations that advocate for people navigating the divorce process. The beit din communicates freely and regularly with these organizations as well as partners with them to solve cases.
This beit din thinks creatively and strategically, is proactive in resolving cases and looks for solutions and ideas to free women and men being refused a Get.
I would say not even negative, but minor points of discomfort - 1. The get was done in the Rabbi's office, which is small and full of furniture. It was not messy or run down, but it was crowded with all of us in there. It would have been nice to have a space set up with ample room for everyone to sit rather than haphazardly cramming everyone in. 2. The rabbis didn't look up, make eye contact, greet me or introduce themselves when I walked in. Typical yeshivish rabbi behavior and they were very nice when they addressed me, but I would have expected at least the same civil niceties that humans offer at any business meeting or other appointment.